Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Tony Franklin and His Undefeatable Patented Offensive System© Sent Packing

Tony Franklin and His Undefeatable Patented Offensive System© Sent Packing
for The Bleacher Report

"I could always write a tell-all book about the 7 games and 10 months I spent collecting dirt on Auburn and it's employees."

"I think Tony's done a good job of adjusting," Tuberville told ESPN's Chris Low just days ago, "I don't know whether we've done a good job of adjusting to what we've gone to. But he's our offensive coordinator. He's worked as hard as anybody here, and he's as disappointed as anybody here. We've got to find some answers. He knows he's the guy who needs to find those answers, and he's looking hard ... along with the other coaches."

Then the answer was: "It's no time to panic".

Apparently Tommy "The Riverboat Gambler" Tuberville and Auburn University officials reversed course, and are now panicking, releasing a press release at 3:44pm this afternoon that Tony Franklin had been fired.

Franklin quickly cleared out his office and departed in his Hyundai Veranza after reporters refused to help him stuff boxes into his automobile.

"After evaluating where we are at this point of the season offensively, I felt it was in the best interest of the Auburn football program to make this change," Tuberville said in the official press release. "I'm not satisfied with where we are and I am personally going to take a larger role with the offense the remainder of the season. We are going to work harder than ever to make sure we consistently improve as we move forward."

Tony Franklin had been under intense fire following Auburn's poor showing against a surging Vanderbilt team this past Saturday.

Tony Franklin's Undefeatable Patented Offensive System© never truly found a home at Auburn--a traditional power running school--and even Tuberville previously admitted that giving in to "The Spread" was as much a recruiting tool as a revamping of Auburn's offense.

Auburn's offense is near or at the bottom in most offensive categories in the SEC and the country. Auburn ranks 104th in total offense (309.2 yards per game), 105th in pass efficiency (104.98), tied for 111th in red zone offense (65 percent) and 112th in third-down conversions (29.7 percent).

Tommy Tuberville has gone through 12 offensive and defensive coordinators in 10 years, and his 4-2 Tigers are next visited by Arkansas.

"It's either him or me?... Him!! Him, damn it, HIM!"