The Worst Showing Ever For A Top Five Team?

The Worst Showing Ever For A Top Five Team?
for 24-Hours of Propaganda



Saturday night's 35-3 colossal rout of Ohio State by the USC Trojans may be viewed in the future as one of the worst showings ever by a team ranked so highly.


Like Tommy Bowden and the Clemson Tigers in Week 1, The Ohio State Buckeyes entered Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum last night with the air of a near-future conference champion.

Not even Chris "Beanie" Wells, once considered a front-runner for this year's Heisman Trophy, could have saved Ohio State from the beat down that took place. Wells was being called "The Favorite" to win the award, ironically, before a single snap was played this year. Instead of a season-long coronation of what Jim Tressel and the Buckeyes feel is the greatest running back to ever live on the face of the planet, Wells was sidelined after being injured playing the criminally bruising and often dangerously mean Youngstown State Penguins. In the meantime, Wells sat out the Ohio game, during which time many speculated as to the nature of his injury, as it must have been so minor that it defied explanation by the OSU medical or coaching staffs. Indeed, Wells participated in more than 75% of the practices leading up to the USC showdown, but late Friday evening Jim Tressel told the assembled media that he was not going to play Wells, and that it was his decision alone to make. Indeed, the team medical staff cleared Beanie to play as early as Thursday.

Some media sources had been hyping Ohio State since early in the spring as "Clearly The Best Team in The Country".

It could have simply not been any clearer to Jim Tressel, the Ohio State players, and their parent organization how important this game was.

Jim Tressel alternated between both quarterbacks Boeckman and Pryor, sometimes rotating them each play, which even if it worked initially, had it's eventually debilitating effect on the offense.

Boeckman, the fifth-year senior who was supposed to have the experience and knowledge to keep the game under control, completed 14 of 21 passes with two interceptions, one of which was returned 48 yards for a touchdown. Pryor, the versatile change-of-pace quarterback who has been a relative unknown quantity outside of Columbus, Ohio, completed 7 of 9 for 52 yards and rushed 11 times for 40 yards. He didn't have any turnovers.

The Buckeyes had 177 yards and 13 first downs at halftime. They had 30 yards and two first downs in the second half. On six second-half possessions, the Buckeyes punted five times and were intercepted once.

The loss of Wells prior to the game does not explain getting thoroughly dominated on both sides of the ball, resulting in the worst defeat endured by Ohio State since 1989.

Twenty starters returned from last year's 10-2 team that got taken apart by the LSU Bayou Tigers in January. Several players that could have defected to the NFL draft in the spring returned for this year's run, and all probably saw their NFL stock plummet.

The loss was such a monumental collapse by a Top 5 Team that it begs the question--Is this the Worst Showing Ever for a Top Five Team?

One thing that is true--Ohio State did not even play well enough to test the conventional "wisdom" that USC is the best team in the country.


"...even I don't believe it..."

UCLA, which got hammered 59-0 yesterday by BYU, will likely put up a much stiffer fight when the two teams meet up in their annual rivalry game.

With only Notre Dame (who defeated Michigan 35-17 also Saturday) and the PAC-10 schedule remaining, USC is poised to make their now traditional run through their conference, perhaps get tested by Jimmy Clausen and Notre Dame and make travel plans for the BCS National Title Game in Miami, January 8, 2009.

Hopefully a more worthy team than the Jim "Not Woody Hayes" Tressel led Ohio State Buckeyes will be there to give them a real game.

Coach on the possibility of a re-match between USC and OSU for the BCS National Title, "...the possibility that the Buckeyes will be seeing the Trojans again is not that far-fetched of an idea. Yes, the BCS is that Fucked up!"

Coach then continued, "Of course, if the Buckeyes can get off the mat and teams begin fall away in the coming weeks, and Ohio State rolls up some wins, the boobs in the Harris Poll will forget the 35-3 beatdown that we all witnessed in the Coliseum...Yes, the BCS Boys have created such a fraudulent system, such an embarrassment to the great game of college football, that the worst nightmare scenario of a rematch of USC and Ohio State is a real possibility! Yes, the team that got their ass handed to them the last 3 times they have played legitimate football teams, could BE PLAYING FOR THE NATIONAL TITLE IN JANUARY! We would say this BCS was created by morons, but that would be a terrible insult to morons everywhere."

Coach on Ohio State, "Yes, Ohio State can beat Big Ten teams, but they cannot beat the best teams in the game of college football today."

Jimmy Clausen, The Kid with the Golden Funnel

Jimmy Clausen, The Kid with the Golden Funnel
for Troublemakers around the SEC



Jimmy "The Kid with the Golden Arm" Clausen awaiting the arrival of his passport in the mail. He has a banging trip to Amsterdam lined up but will be cutting it close with the passport. Why can't they just email those things?

True, Jimmy Clausen isn't in the SEC, but he probably should be. We have Fat Phil Fulmer to thank that this amazing talent slipped through his fingers and landed squarely at Notre Dame.

It has never been easy to the youngest brother, the most talented brother, in a rather pitiful Football Family Dynasty. Coaches pretending to call for your brother and keeping you up all hours of the night from such a very young age. There was no doubt that Jimmy Clausen, the kid dubbed by ESPN as "The Kid with the Golden Arm", would some day find the pressure to much to bear.

Casey Clausen was the oldest, and from 2000-2003 lead the Tennessee Volunteers to a 34-10 record, an SEC East Championship and a near BCS Championship Game Berth. Middle brother, Rick, was the journeyman with little talent, as history records, having started his career at LSU, playing in 3 games and starting 1. Later, Nick NITELITE Saban was going to pull Clausen's scholarship, so he transferred to Tennessee, presumably to be a backup quarterback.

The Clausen family had other ideas, however, knowing that Fat Phil Fulmer would do anything to win them over into sending their youngest son, Jimmy, to Tennessee. Rick became a pawn in the ensuing drama, and recieved a disproportionate amount of playing time. It came as a complete surprise and nearly a very abrupt end to Fat Phil Fulmer's career when Jimmy Clausen rode a stretch Hummer limousine up to the College Football Hall of Fame in South Bend, Indiana, on April 22, 2006 and verbally committed to the University of Notre Dame. Bejeweled and wearing a gigantic white fur coat, he stated his goal was to win four National Titles with the Fighting Irish.

Fat Phil Fulmer felt like his whole world was falling apart. Every where he turned, he thought he saw Charlie Weis in the shadows, following him. Fulmer had mortgaged so much of his future on getting Jimmy Clausen specifically he had not even paid attention to other quarterback recruits. Several possibilities had died on the vine, and now he had to explain to the boosters how they would have to live through another whole season with sub-par Erik Ainge. Then a brainstorm hit him--paint Clausen's own ludicrous verbal commitment ceremony as an indication that he had "character issues", which even sounded counter-intuitive coming out of his own mouth. Hadn't he already coached an all-star list of criminals and deviants? Why not one more, especially Jimmy Clausen, who had been labeled as a "once in a decade" talent? Hadn't the Clausen Family been an endless fiasco, causing problems with boosters, wanting all sorts of "presents", getting on the upwards of 30 or 40 will-call tickets per game? Where was the ultimate payoff?

So when Clausen picked up his first alcohol-related arrest in the early summer, Fulmer could relax, and somehow lucked his way with largely unserviceable Erik Ainge into the SEC Championship game, while Charlie Weis and Jimmy Clausen went 2-7.

Then, this summer, as if by divine intervention, Jimmy Clausen was embroiled in more controversy when pictures of him and several other teammates, all underage, appearing at the "Beer Olympics", surfaced on the internet.



I am for one disappointed that Fat Phil Fulmer couldn't close the deal on Jimmy Clausen. At least then we'd have this controversy squarely in the SEC, and Tennessee specifically, where it deserves to be.