Two of Me

Two of Me

There of are two of me
I am quick to say
Twenty times a day when confronted with
this duality that presents itself as me
In my heart I know I am a winner
yet often art is the representation of the despair
of someone who has not won all the games
I have been 32-5
I have been the lead off batter on a team that barely lost
I have been the leading gross salesman
and still been dragged down by this thing, my heart
I have lost the ones I wanted on the battlefield
I have sacrificed The One(s) for that intanglible
Victory at any cost, give it all for The World
Twenty-Four hours in a day, how many to win?
I win, that is my job, that is what I do
Now, twelve or more hours a day
lonely am I in whatever hours I spend away
from the battlefield, confronted with the emptiness
of a home abandoned, a life forgotten
an eternal love foresaken for earthly, fleeting pleasures
How much more could I have won?
Had I forestalled Love for Victory at every turn?
but as a human I have made the choice a dozen times
to follow my heart and lose the battles in heat
Now I Am Clear
I see, there is only one player in this game, It Is Me
and the Team I believe in, and who appears to reciprocate
I give myself, prostrate myself, in hopes of recognition
In hopes of being noticed in my unyielding flight
I will win for you, sacrifice for you, I will destroy
Whatever life might be outside this little world
This little battle we fight every day to survive
I will be who you need me to be
because I know there have always been Two of Me
and my losing tendencies have come
when I could not decide which one I wanted
in control.